How to stop self-pitying?
I was self-pitty for a long time. If I said I get rid of this feeling, it couldn’t be right. Sometimes, some situations trigger me to feel bad about myself. Yet, I got to learn a lot about how we can handle this situation after a long experience.
Feeling sorry for yourself is the most poisonous feeling. When a person has this feeling, it covers everything like poison ivy. When we get caught up in it, this feeling affects all of our work. It permeates everywhere without us even realizing it.
So, how do we break out of the cycle of self-pity?
Accept your feelings.
Self-pitying people are people who are not at peace with themselves. They do not allow their own feelings. They do not want it to be known that they are afraid, worried or sad. They always want to appear strong from the outside. I was in the same situation; I avoided my feelings not only because I was afraid that others would see me as weak, but also because I did not accept that I felt that way.
We must live our emotions. We have to face our emotions. Now, I admit that I was afraid, and that I felt unsuccessful. I’m not even afraid to share it with many people. I no longer run from my feelings and have accepted that they don’t make me weak, they just make me human.
Don’t be a fortune teller.
You may be giving up even doing the things that are easy for you to do because you think about what will happen if you try. It’s all an illusion. I assure you it has nothing to do with reality. Never stop trying. If you want to get rid of this feeling, you should not let the difficulties of life discourage you. You should start a business thinking that you will succeed.
If I am giving you these recommendations, it is because I have experienced them myself. Besides, if you’re going to fail again in the end, at least try.
Turn your head.
Sometimes it all comes together. You get bad grades in a row or you can’t get a good relationship, breakups happen and more. Or you may feel like everyone has been given good things and the worst is up to you. Family, work, environment...
We can multiply these examples as much as the story of all of us. And when everything goes wrong, we think that nothing good will happen after that. Nothing else positive comes to our minds.
After a while, we begin to perceive all the negative as real. Then again, something goes wrong, and we think again that we’ve failed. If we look into the darkness, we see the darkness. We must turn our heads.
If you’ve been tested in similar events over and over, I suggest you take a break. Go away. Do not have a relationship for a while after you have been cheated on. Are things going wrong at your job, try to get away from work, even if it is for a short time.
Focus on others.
Some self-pitying people see the world as their own. Worst case they have it. They are the loneliest. They suffer the most. You may feel that way too, but you should also focus on other people. Other people around you also have problems. Don’t just focus on your own problems because that will cause you to feel sorry for yourself more.
Two suggestions that helped me:
- Keeping a gratitude journal.
Every day when I wake up in the morning, the first thing I do is write down five things I am grateful for in my life. It may be difficult for you at first. If you continue to write about the things you are grateful for, you will realize the good things in your life. In fact, this exercise will show you that your life isn’t just about bad things.
If you are going to try keeping a gratitude journal for the first time, you can start by listing three things you enjoy in your life. Don’t stress yourself over thinking too much. Sometimes I even write about a delicious coffee that I drink or the weather is nice. As you continue, you will catch the good things in life, and you will feel better about yourself.
2. Take small responsibilities.
Create a space for yourself. Small responsibilities can be taking care of flowers or buying an aquarium. I am looking for flowers. Seeing them grow and give new shoots makes me feel very welcome. Seeing that I am helping a living thing makes me believe that I can also help myself.
I’m trying to get rid of this sick thought completely, and I don’t want anyone to feel that way either. Sometimes it’s hard for me to be so open. But I’ve been pushing myself to be a better version of myself for 31 days. It motivates me that my articles reach people who are experiencing the difficulties I have experienced. I continue to share with you my experiences and the processes that inspire me.
On the 31st day of my 50-day challenge, I wanted to talk about how to stop feeling sorry for yourself. I would be glad if you share your thoughts with me in the comments. I also share my 50-day journey here every day. If you want to accompany me, you can follow me. I hope to see you around.
